The Chair of the Board of Pricks Delivers: A Fairy Tale, Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi Ho!!!

The announcement that Hamas, in agreement with the Dark House, have said that it will start a process of decommissioning if the IDF retreats to the pre-October 7th border. Israel, in response, as expected, said nothing, even though Trump implied that his mate and fellow narcissist Netanyahu was delighted with the deal. What we do know is that Israel will not go back to the pre-7th October border until Hamas has fully disarmed and until there is verifiable complete demilitarisation of the Strip as a condition for any process of withdrawal. This is commonly known as a stalemate or standoff. Any idea that Netanyahu will capitulate to Trump over this non-deal is fanciful. This is not 1956, when American President  Dwight D Eisenhower strongly opposed the military action taken by Israel in Egyptian Sinai and then forced Ben Gurion to withdraw Israeli forces by threatening to cut off all U.S. financial aid and support United Nations sanctions against Israel. The current leader of the Reich has an upcoming election, ongoing corruption proceedings, and both Smotrich and Gvir each hold one testicle, which is why he will not capitulate. The reason for this so-called breakthrough announcement is yet again a dead cat strategy. It reflects Trump’s absolute failure to topple the Iranian regime, a bunch of murdering, corrupt religious zealots, otherwise known as the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps.

Israel controls two-thirds of Gaza and now seems more intent on creating a security zone. Any sign of them even willing to consider withdrawal, whatever Hamas does, is implausible. This deal is Trump and his administration in fantasyland, though the reality is that the suffering and killing of the residents of Gaza and the West Bank continues despite coming off our front pages. In addition, little attention will be paid to the suffering of the Palestinian people by our political establishment and those of the EU, where it is all about the cost-of-living crisis and climate-induced wildfires.

If a just peace is to be attained, as Ehud Olmert, former Israeli Prime Minister, said, first this far-right messianic Israeli regime must be removed, and the Israeli public must be made to realise their future and security is intrinsically interwoven with their Palestinian neighbours. This sounds like a bit of a political no-brainer. Hamas must also recognise Israel’s right to exist as a precursor to serious discussion about a genuine democratic and viable Palestinian State, not the Muslim Brotherhood in drag. My disappointment is that the voice of the Israeli left has been silenced since October 7th and seems not to have shown the Israeli public a credible road map for a peaceful region. They need to show some leadership on the issue, as shown by Peter Beinart, Omer Bartov, and the Israeli human rights organisation B’Tselem. 

So, what will the Israeli public be left with after October’s election? According to opinion polls, it is a bloc of 60 anti-Netanyahu members of the Knesset and a bloc of 50 pro-Netanyahu members. Unfortunately, the bloc of anti-Netanyahu parties includes Yashar, leading in recent opinion polls and led by a former general, Gadi Eisenkot, a person whom you would just about get a piece of paper between him and Netanyahu. Eisenkot has not explicitly come out in support of a two-state solution, does little to condemn settler violence in the West Bank and as part of Netanyahu’s government, did little to curtail the genocidal tendencies of the regime. So, in hindsight, maybe you will not get a piece of paper between him and Bibi. If Eisenkot has a quarter of the balls that Rabin showed, he will have to lay out an unequivocal road map for a two-state solution. The only way to guarantee a Jewish majority in a truly democratic Israel is to end Israel’s occupation of the West Bank and Gaza and end the suffering of the Palestinian People by offering them something they have craved for decades: peace and hope. Then there is Naftali Bennett’s new party called Together, and if you take the word security out of their goals, again it would be Bibi in drag. He is also fervently opposed to a two-state solution.

So, if anyone is hoping for a solution to a multi-generational tragedy as a consequence of the upcoming elections in Israel, you are deluded. Israel will continue to invest in its position as a pariah state; the Palestinian people will continue to suffer; America and the Europeans will continue to exhibit post-Holocaust guilt and, if not fully supporting the new regime, will whisper “naughty boy” in the ear of the next Israeli Prime Minister, whether that be Netanyahu, Eisenkot or Bennett, as the ethnic cleansing continues.

Suneil Sharma

5th August 2026